书名：It Didn't Start with You这不是你的错：海灵格家庭创伤疗愈之道

作者：Mark Wolynn
出版社名称：Penguin Books
出版时间：2017
语种：英文
ISBN：9781101980385
商品尺寸：13.7 x 1.7 x 21.4 cm
包装：平装
页数：256（以实物为准）

很多人发现，自己的计划与行动常常是不一致的：

·想要健康，却会吃很多垃圾食品，或者是找借口不运动
·想要一段美好的关系，却在合适的人靠近时开始疏远对方
·想拥有一个有意义的职业，却做不到一步步去实现它
这不是你的错，但你似乎也不知该如何摆脱。

不仅如此，我们生活中的种种问题，如抑郁、焦虑、慢性疼痛、恐惧症……越来越多的证据表明，这些造成个体痛苦的根源不在于其当下的生活经历或者大脑化学失衡，而是从每个人的父母、祖父母，甚至是祖父母的生活中内化得来的。

海灵格知名弟子、家庭代际创伤领域的先驱马克·沃林恩，凭借20余年的临床经验，写成It Didn't Start with You《这不是你的错：海灵格家庭创伤疗愈之道》一书。希望每一位读者在马克的引导下，都能在这场探索之旅中，找到自己的核心语言，与隐藏的创伤对话，解决当下的问题。

A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field
Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents.
As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms.

Praise for It Didn’t Start with You:
“It Didn’t Start with You takes us a big step forward, advancing the fields of trauma therapy, mindfulness applications, and human understanding. It is a bold, creative, and compassionate work.”—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness
 
“This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing.”—Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge

“Bridging both neuroscience and psychodynamic thinking, It Didn’t Start with You provides the reader with Mark Wolynn’s hard-earned toolbox of do-it-yourself clinical aids and provocative insights.”—Jess P. Shatkin

每个孩子都诞生于家庭，每个家庭都有独特的躯体，每个人都在这副躯壳中裹挟着记忆之伤。这份逃不开的命运印记，影响了每个人当下的生活。

本书作者在其20余年的研究中发现，过去的创伤在我们身上发挥作用时，总会留下一些线索。这些线索可能以情绪化的语句或词语表现出来，它表达的是我们内心深处的恐惧，连接着我们没有处理好的创伤。这些语言就是“核心语言”：

“我永远都会是独自一人。”
“我会伤害别人，这都是我的错。我永远都无法原谅自己。”
“她会背叛我，我会受到伤害。”
“我只是在苟且偷生。我只能勉强维持着生计。”
“我不配拥有我所得到的。”
“他们会排斥我，我无法融入。”

是否在你生命的历程中，有过类似的感悟或自我对话？这些语句会影响你认识自己的方式，会影响你做出的选择，还会影响你的大脑和身体对这个世界做出的回应。在It Didn't Start with You《这不是你的错：海灵格家庭创伤疗愈之道》中，作者将带领每个人寻找自己的核心语言，突破家庭创伤的影响，打破旧模式，建立更加积极和健康的新模式，拥抱属于自己的新生活。

马克·沃林恩，海灵格弟子，家庭代际创伤领域的专家。旧金山家庭系统排列研究所主任，北加州海灵格研究所主任，纽约海灵格学习中心副主任。他训练过上千名临床医生，帮助人们治疗沮丧、焦虑、恐慌症、强迫症、自我伤害、慢性疼痛和生理疾病。他还是一位热忱的讲师，在世界各地的医院、诊所、会议和教学中心组织并领导研讨会。他曾在匹兹堡大学、西方精神病学研究所、Kripalu瑜伽中心、欧米茄研究所、纽约开放中心和加利福尼亚综合研究所任教。

Mark Wolynn is a leading expert on inherited family trauma. He is the winner of the 2016 Silver Nautilus Award in Psychology. As the director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, he has trained thousands of clinicians and treated thousands more patients struggling with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive thoughts, self-injury, chronic pain, and illness. A sought-after lecturer, he leads workshops at hospitals, clinics, conferences, and teaching centers around the world. He has taught at the University of Pittsburgh, the Western Psychiatric Institute, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, The New York Open Center, and The California Institute of Integral Studies.

Part II The Core Language Map
Part III Pathways to Reconnection

Sigmund Freud identified this pattern more than one hundred years ago. Traumatic reenactment, or repetition compulsion, as Ireud called it, is an attempt of the unconscious to replay what’s unresolved, so we can “get it right.” This unconscious drive to relive past events could be one of the mechanisms at work when families repeat unresolved traumas in future generations.
Freud’s contemporary Carl Jung also believed that what remains unconscious does not dissolve but, rather, resurfaces in our lives as fate or fortune. Whatever is not conscious, he said, will be experienced as fate. In other words, we’re likely to keep repeating our unconscious patterns until we bring them into the light of awareness. Both Jung and Freud noted that whatever is too difficult to process does not fade away on its own but, rather, is stored in our unconscious.
Freud and Jung each observed how fragments of previously blocked, suppressed, or repressed life experience would show up in the words, gestures, and behaviors of their patients. For decades to follow, therapists would see such clues as slips of the tongue, accident patterns, or dream images as messengers shining a light into the unspeakable and unthinkable regions of their clients’ lives.
Recent advances in imaging technology have allowed researchers to unravel the brain and bodily functions thatmisfire” or break down during overwhelming episodes. Bessel van der Kolk is a Dutch psychiatrist known for his research on posttraumatic stress. He explains that during a trauma, the speech center shuts down, as does the medial prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for experiencing the present moment.