如何感受到爱：五种心态让你获得更多重要的东西 索尼娅·柳博米尔斯基How to Feel Loved : The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters MostSonja Lyubomirsky

基本信息

Book Details

ISBN-13: 9781529954173

ISBN-10: 1529954177

Author: Sonja Lyubomirsky, Harry Reis

Publisher: Cornerstone

Imprint: Cornerstone Press

Format: Paperback

Number of Pages: 416

Release Date: 16 February 2026

Weight: 700g

Dimensions: 234mm x 153mm x 40mm

基本信息仅供参考，具体以实物为准

书籍简介

一位享誉全球的幸福科学家和一位人际关系研究专家，运用幸福、爱情和人际关系方面的科学知识，为读者提供了一个强有力的框架，帮助他们欣赏和培养那些让他们感到真正被爱的事物。

“世界上没有哪两位科学家比这两位更值得我信任，他们提供的改善人际关系的建议都基于研究，切实可行。”——安吉拉·达克沃斯，《坚毅》畅销书作者

“这是一本研究深入、文笔优美的指南，教你如何找到我们每个人获得真正幸福所需的要素。这本书或许会改变你的人生。”——亚瑟·C·布鲁克斯，《幸福档案》畅销书作者

我们可能被爱，却仍然感觉不到爱。许多人认为，如果他们的行为举止得体、言辞得当，或者让自己更讨人喜欢，就会感受到更多的爱。但这种本能的思维方式从根本上来说是错误的，它会导致人与人之间的隔阂，进而引发孤独、抑郁和自我怀疑。

索尼娅·柳博米尔斯基（Sonja Lyubomirsky）是世界公认的幸福专家，哈里·里斯（Harry Reis）则是人际关系专家之一。他们深入研究了幸福和爱的复杂性。他们发现，真正感受到爱，与我们通常认为的爱、被爱和坠入爱河的行为截然不同。

在这本杰出的著作中，他们提出了一个根本性的、充满希望的、且有科学依据的关于爱的全新思考方式。他们揭示，感受到爱并非在于让自己变得更有魅力、更容易被人接受或更可爱——而在于向他人展现我们完整而脆弱的自我，并鼓励我们所爱的人也向我们展现他们完整而脆弱的自我。这不仅适用于浪漫的爱情，也适用于我们在友谊、亲情以及其他关系中感受到的爱。

在《如何感受爱》一书中，作者介绍了五种强大的思维模式——帮助我们与生命中重要的人建立深厚情感联系的工具：

分享型思维模式——展现我们脆弱的一面和内心世界，而不仅仅是光鲜亮丽的一面；

倾听学习型思维模式——留出空间真正倾听他人，而不仅仅是轮流发言；

求知型思维模式——对他人抱有真诚的兴趣，并提出更有价值的问题；

敞开心扉型思维模式——善待并肯定他人的真实自我；

多元型思维模式——拥抱我们每个人身上复杂而微妙的特质。

这些思维模式的转变构成了一个动态的互动过程，作者称之为“关系跷跷板”。它将帮助读者重塑彼此间的对话方式，从而更深入地了解所爱之人，并被他们更深入地了解。

仅仅被爱是不够的。要真正获得满足，我们感受到爱。这本书将告诉我们如何做到这一点。

“献给所有渴望拥有更多快乐和联结的人。” - DAN BUETTNER，好的……阅读更多

Summary A globally renowned happiness scientist and a top relationship researcher draw on the science of happiness, love, and human connection to offer a powerful framework to help readers appreciate and nurture what makes them feel truly loved.

“There aren’t two scientists in the world I trust more to deliver research-backed, actionable recommendations on how to improve your relationships.” - ANGELA DUCKWORTH, bestselling author of Grit

“A deeply-researched and beautifully-written guide to finding what we all need for true happiness. This book might change your life.” - ARTHUR C. BROOKS, bestselling author of The Happiness Files

We can be loved - and still not feel loved. Many people believe that if they behave the right way, say the right things, or make themselves more lovable, they will feel more loved. But this kind of reflexive thinking is fundamentally misguided, causing a disconnect that can lead to loneliness, depression, and self-doubt.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, the world’s preeminent expert on happiness, and Harry Reis, one of the world’s leading experts on relationships and connection, have studied the complexities of well-being and love in depth. Truly feeling loved, they’ve discovered, differs widely from the actions that we usually associate with loving, being loved, and falling in love.

In this exceptional book, they present a radical, hopeful, and science-backed shift in how to think about love, revealing that feeling loved isn’t about making ourselves more appealing, available, and lovable - it’s about showing our full and vulnerable selves to others and encouraging our loved ones to reveal their full and vulnerable selves to us. This is true for romantic love but also for the love we feel in friendship, family, and beyond.

In How to Feel Love, they introduce five powerful mindsets - tools to help us feel the love we crave with the people in our lives:

A Sharing mindset - showing our vulnerabilities and inner world, not just the polished parts

A Listening-to-Learn mindset - making space to truly tune in to another, not just to take turns speaking

A Radical Curiosity mindset - being genuinely interested in another and asking better questions

A Multiplicity mindset - embracing the messy complexity in all of us

These mindset shifts give shape to a dynamic back-and-forth process the authors call the Relationship See-Saw, which will help readers remake their conversations in ways that enable them to deeply know those they love and become deeply known by them.

It isn’t enough to be loved. To be truly fulfilled, we must feel loved. This book shows us how.

作者简介

索尼娅·柳博米尔斯基是加州大学河滨分校的杰出教授，也是畅销书《幸福的方法》和《幸福的迷思》的作者，这两本书已被翻译成39个国家的语言。她因其著作荣获多项奖项，并被众多媒体报道，包括《纽约时报》、《华盛顿邮报》和《大西洋月刊》，以及《今日秀》、美国国家公共电台（NPR）和美国有线电视新闻网（CNN）。她与家人居住在加利福尼亚州圣莫尼卡。

Sonja Lyubomirsky is Distinguished Professor at the University of California, Riverside and author of the bestselling The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness, which has been translated in thirty-nine countries. She has received numerous awards for her work and has been featured in a wide range of media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, and The Atlantic and on the Today show, NPR, and CNN. She lives in Santa Monica, California, with her family.