书名：Positive Discipline 正面管教
作者：Jane Nelsen Ed.D. 简·尼尔森
出版社名称：Ballantine Books
出版时间：2006
语种：英文
ISBN：9780345487674
商品尺寸：13.2 x 2.1 x 20.3 cm
包装：平装
页数：384

没有哪个父母不为了孩子而竭尽全力，但美好的愿望却不一定给孩子带来很好的结果。
每一位父母都想成为合格的家长，为了孩子而竭尽全力。但常常却不知如何做，总是在过于严厉和过于娇纵之间来回摇摆。作为7个孩子的母亲，简·尼尔森——美国杰出的教育家，美国“正面管教协会”创始人，曾经也为此感到困感。
简·尼尔森回忆说：“一开始，我是虎妈，后来也做过直升机妈妈。当我开始把正面管教理论付诸实践时，也觉得在养育孩子的过程中停止惩罚是很难做到的。但当我身体力行时，我的孩子在行为上确实变得更好了，我也更享受当妈妈了。” 

什么是正面管教？
孩子是社会人，所有人是平等的，再小的孩子也有尊严，需要被尊重和鼓励；孩子行为的首要目的是追求归属感和价值感。一个孩子行为不当，是他感受不到归属或自我价值的一种表达；孩子从小就有社会责任感意识，也可理解为利他主义精神。
基于此，正面管教的教育方法提倡和善与坚定，既不惩罚也不骄纵，鼓励孩子，尊重孩子，理解孩子行为背后的逻辑。通过有效正面管教，培养孩子的自律、责任感、合作及解决问题的能力。

如何运用正面管教方法使孩子获得这种能力，就是Positive Discipline《正面管教》的主要内容。

推荐理由：
1.自1981年本书初版以来，《正面管教》已成为了管教孩子的“黄金准则”；
2.畅销美国400多万册，被翻译成16种语言；
3.让数百万孩子、父母和老师受益终身的经典之作；
4.英文原版，用词通俗易懂，更准确理解作者本意。

Make a Difference During the Most Important Years of Your Child's Life

“It is not easy to improve a classic book, but Jane Nelson has done so in this revised edition. Packed with updated examples that are clear and specific,Positive Discipline shows parents exactly how to focus on solutions while being kind and firm. If you want to enrich your relationship with your children, this is the book for you.”  — Sal Severe, author of How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!

Millions of children have already benefited from the counsel in this wise and warmhearted book, which features dozens of true stories of positive discipline in action. Give your child the tools he or she needs for a well-adjusted life with this proven treasure trove of practical advice. 

Positive Discipline《正面管教》的作者简·尼尔森——教育学博士、杰出的心理学家——在本书中告诉21世纪的父母和老师们：
惩罚和娇纵为什么对孩子都不好，并且不管用？
怎样用既不惩罚又不娇纵的正面管教方法培养孩子受益终生的良好品质？
如何用正面管教方法自动消除孩子的不良行为？
如何赢得孩子与父母和老师的合作？
如何消解大人与孩子之间的权力之争？
“超级父母”对孩子会有什么危害？
各种性格的父母对孩子会有什么正反两方面的影响？父母如何发挥自己性格中的优点，避免缺点给孩子造成的不良影响？
老师们如何避免对孩子造成管教问题？
从3岁到青春期的十几岁的孩子以及孩子的父母和老师，都将因为本书而彻底改变家里和学校的气愤，改变自己的人生。

For twenty-five years, Positive Discipline has been the gold standard reference for grown-ups working with children. Now Jane Nelsen, distinguished psychologist, educator, and mother of seven, has written a revised and expanded edition. The key to positive discipline is not punishment, she tells us, but mutual respect. Nelsen coaches parents and teachers to be both firm and kind, so that any child—from a three-year-old toddler to a rebellious teenager—can learn creative cooperation and self-discipline with no loss of dignity. Inside you’ll discover how to

• bridge communication gaps
• defuse power struggles
• avoid the dangers of praise
• enforce your message of love
• build on strengths, not weaknesses
• hold children accountable with their self-respect intact
• teach children not what to think but how to think
• win cooperation at home and at school
• meet the special challenge of teen misbehavior

简·尼尔森（Jane Nelsen）教育学博士，杰出的心理学家、教育家，美国加利福尼亚婚姻和家庭执业心理治疗师，美国“正面管教协会”创始人。她是7个孩子的母亲，22个孩子的奶奶或外祖母，还是2个孩子的曾祖母。曾经担任过10年的有关儿童发展的小学、大学心理咨询教师。她是18本著作的作者或合著者，是众多知名育儿及养育杂志的顾问。

Jane Nelsen, Ed.D., coauthor of the bestselling Positive Discipline series, is a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist. Her books have sold over a million copies. She lives in Salt Lake City.

   Foreword  
    Preface and Acknowledgments
    Introduction to the Third Edition

Chapter OneThe Positive Approach 
Chapter TwoSome Basic Concepts 
Chapter ThreeThe Significance of Birth Order 
Chapter FourA New Look at Misbehavior 
Chapter FiveBeware of Logical Consequences 
Chapter SixFocusing on Solutions 
Chapter SevenUsing Encouragement Effectively 
Chapter EightClass Meetings 
Chapter NineFamily Meetings 
Chapter TenPersonality: How Yours Affects Theirs 
Chapter ElevenPutting It All Together
Chapter TwelveLove and Joy in Homes and Classrooms 
Appendix IStarting a Positive Discipline Study Group
Appendix IIDeveloping Social Responsibility through Peer Counseling
Appendix IIILetter toParents

    Notes  
    Suggested Readings
    Index 

Chapter One

THE POSITIVE APPROACH

If you are a teacher, have you been teaching long enough to remember when children sat in neat rows and obediently did what they were told? If you are a parent, do you remember when children wouldn’t dare talk back to their parents? Maybe you don’t, but perhaps your grandparents do.

Many parents and teachers today are feeling frustrated because children don’t behave the way they used to in the good old days. What happened? Why don’t today’s children develop the same kinds of responsibility and motivation that seemed more prevalent in children many years ago?

There are many possible explanations, such as broken homes, too much television, video games, and working mothers. These factors are so common in our society today that the situation would seem rather hopeless if they really explained our current challenges with children. (And we all know of many single and working parents who are doing a great job raising their children because they use effective parenting skills.) Rudolf Dreikurs1 had another theory.

There are many major changes that have taken place in society over the past few years that more directly explain the differences in children today. The outlook is very encouraging because, with awareness and desire, we can compensate for these changes and in doing so can also eliminate some of the problems that many think are caused by broken homes, too much television, and working mothers.

The first major change is that adults no longer give children an example or model of submissiveness and obedience. Adults forget that they no longer act the way they used to in the good old days. Remember when Mom obediently did whatever Dad said, or at least gave the impression she did, because it was the culturally acceptable thing to do? In the good old days few people questioned the idea that Dad’s decisions were final.

Because of the human rights movement, this is no longer true. Rudolf Dreikurs pointed out, “When Dad lost control of Mom, they both lost control of the children.” All this means is that Mom quit giving the children a model of submissiveness. This is progress. Many things about the good old days were not so good.

In those days there were many models of submission. Dad obeyed the boss (who was not interested in his opinions) so he wouldn’t lose his job. Minority groups accepted submissive roles at great loss to their personal dignity. Today all minority groups are actively claiming their rights to full equality and dignity. It is difficult to find anyone who is willing to accept an inferior, submissive role in life. Children are simply following the examples all around them. They also want to be treated with dignity and respect.

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